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If he seems to be losing interest, you panic and try to do whatever you can to win him back.
Instead of using his feelings as a measuring stick to determine your worth, take the focus off yourself and try to learn about him and see what he’s about and if you’re a good match.
But I’m not one to judge; I used to feel the same way. even though I knew better, even though I knew he was crazy about me, even though I was confident that he was “the one,” a part of me was absolutely terrified that maybe I was wrong, maybe I would screw this up just as I had screwed up so many relationships in the past (him included; we dated in high school and it ended because I wanted things to be more serious …
and he wanted to be a teenage boy and live in a world where “serious” wasn’t part of his vocabulary).
Instead of running away, she sees the good in him, the positive qualities, the man he She empathizes with his situation and hopes her love will heal him.
Then she gets upset when this guy who has never had a serious relationship in his life doesn’t want a serious relationship with her, or fools around with other girls. You can’t invest in a guy who clearly isn’t marriage material and then get upset when he won’t give you the commitment you want.
If they meet a girl who just doesn’t have it together or seems to be a mess emotionally, they don’t get involved.
The fear that his feelings will suddenly change with a sudden gust of wind is often the result of something within you, not something he is doing (and if it is the result of his behavior, then he probably isn’t the right guy for you, or isn’t serious about the relationship).
If you put pressure on the relationship, you squeeze the life out of it and it stops being enjoyable and fun.
People only fall in love with those they feel secure around.
If you have an agenda and see him as a means to fill a void within yourself, he will feel it and his guard will reflexively go up, making it impossible to develop a real connection.
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I get e-mails every day from women all over the world begging to know the secret formula for how to behave so they don’t scare their new guy away.